More things to make me laugh

My husband just sent me this (obviously he's enjoying "working" on New Year's Eve).



I have to say, the purple tights at the end only added to my amusement.

Disturbed (But Laughing)

First of all:  A very happy birthday to my baby brother!  (Not that he actually reads my blog, but I'm thinking of him!)

This time of year is not my favorite.  In fact, I think the entire month of January is just some bizarre form of torture and it's misery leaks out at both ends.  Part of my bad opinion is that my birthday is in January.  I don't like my birthday.  And I don't see why my mom couldn't have stayed pregnant for an additional fifty days so that I only had to have a birthday every four years.  I'm sure she would love that suggestion!

I consciously try to seek out fun and happy things this time of year.  I decided that we could take a family trip to Disneyland for my birthday.  My husband got the time off of work and the hotel rates are at their lowest, so we could afford it.  Hooray! 

Except...

Except that my six year old doesn't want to go.  As in he would rather stay home and go to school and do homework instead of go to Disneyland.  How bizarre is that?  Where did I go wrong with him?  He's also the one that saw this and said, "That looks like Dad!"

Er...okay.  Not that I don't think my husband looks fabulous brandishing a sword, but he doesn't usually wear all black and the epee isn't really his sword.  He's more of a claymore (or even a katana) type of guy. 

Still, it did make me laugh.


And speaking of laughter, much to the entertainment of my mother's side of the family, my two year old drank apple juice mixed with Sprite and said, "This tastes like milk."

I don't know what kind of milk he's been drinking.  I honestly don't.

In other news, I went and saw The Princess and the Frog again yesterday.  A friend and I took our daughters out for a girls' day.   I really like the movie.  I think they did some clever things and it's nice to see Disney have a strong female lead (other than Mulan, of course).  So go see the movie.  It's lots of fun!

Goals

It was my turn to teach the twelve and thirteen year old girls in church last Sunday.  The lesson was on setting goals.  Rather appropriate for this time of year, I think, with New Year's Day only a few days away. 

I've never been one to set New Year's Resolutions, mostly because my birthday comes close on the heels of New Year's, so I tend to start goals then.  (For some reason, Christmas always leaves me feeling lazy and I never get around to setting them by the beginning of the new year.) 

When I do set goals, I tend to break them quickly.  The reason is this:  I have delusions that I am Superwoman.  Seriously.  My goals tend to go something like:

"I want to be healthier.  I will do this by:
-Never eating chocolate
-Never eating anything with sugar in it
-Eating at least 5 fruits and vegetables everyday, and preferably 5 per meal
-Running for 30 minutes every day
-Practicing martial arts every day for an hour with my husband
-Exercising with the kids every day for at least half an hour to keep them healthy too"

And that's just one goal. 

Is it any wonder that within a couple of hours of starting my goal, I'm sitting on the couch (right next to the treadmill) and eating everything in the house that's remotely related to chocolate and sugar?

It's taken me far more time than it should have to come to the conclusion that goals have to be realistic.  I tried to emphasize this to the girls on Sunday.  Goals have to be something that you care about and they have to be achievable.  If I picked ONE of the parts of the goal above to work on, I'd have a lot more success and I would still be getting "healthier."

I mentioned to my husband after the lesson that I tried to emphasize achievability.  He laughed at me.  "You said that?  Did you record it so you could listen to yourself later?"

And you thought I was kidding about the "healthier" goal.  I wasn't.

Many years ago, David O. McKay came up with Ten Rules for Happiness.  The first is to develop yourself through self-discipline. 


I am sorely lacking in self-discipline and I don't feel ready to move on to the other nine rules.  So this year I'm going to work on developing self-discipline. I'm going to clean the bathrooms twice a week, and vacuum three times a week, and clean the kitchen after every meal, and write 2,000 words a day, and read to my kids at least half an hour a day, and exercise for an hour . . .

And I'm right back where I began, giving up on my goals before I've even began. 

Okay, I admit, that's not reasonable.  I suppose I'll have to ponder on some reasonable and realistic goals to develop self-discipline so I can move on to #2. 

What about you?  What are some of your goals for the new year?  Some of your reasonable, realistic goals, that you actually care about achieving?  

For those interested, the Ten Rules of Happiness are:
1. Develop yourself by self-discipline.
2. Joy comes through creation - sorrow through destruction. Every living thing can grow: Use the world wisely to realize soul growth.
3. Do things which are hard to do.
4. Entertain upbuilding thoughts. What you think about when you do not have to think shows what you really are.
5. Do your best this hour, and you will do better the next.
6. Be true to those who trust you.
7. Pray for wisdom, courage, and a kind heart.
8. Give heed to God's messages through inspiration. If self-indulgence, jealousy, avarice, or worry have deadened your response, pray to the Lord to wipe out these impediments.
9. True friends enrich life. If you would have friends, be one.
10. Faith is the foundation of all things - including happiness.

Sense and Sentimentality

Christmas is over.  Our already full toy shelves have moved into a whole new realm and I'm not sure we'll ever find the floor again.  This afternoon I tried to convince my kids that we need to get rid of some of the old toys so that there is room for the new ones.  I'll be the first to admit that this is HARD for me.  I'm sometimes burdened with excessive sentimentality.  "Oh, Grandma gave it to them---we should keep it," or, less sentimental, but equally difficult, "I found it at such a good price and they haven't played with it much!"  But there comes a point when sentimentality must give way for good sense.  There is NO WAY that we can keep all these toys!  And yet, we're having a hard time letting them go.  Okay, I'm having a hard time and my two boys are having a hard time.  Oddly enough, my very tender, motherly daughter is fine with tossing out most of the stuff.  She tells me to put the stuffed animals in the "Give away" box, and they are promptly rescued by one of the boys.  Who would have thought?

So how do you get rid of the old, worn out (or nearly new, but never touched) stuff?  I'm appallingly bad at organizing too, which makes it more difficult.  Or maybe it's not me, it's that my three gang up on me and I'm left wondering what happened.

And the new stuff has to stay.  Especially my daughter's new Mulan and Shang dolls.  Who doesn't want those?

Now, how does this relate to writing?  It doesn't really.  Unless I want to go off again on cutting darlings and how hard it is and how that relates to getting rid of the old toys so that the new, and better, toys can have room.  But I probably don't need to expound on that anymore.

My preoccupation with the toys has hindered the actual writing a bit---it's hard to get to the computer when the floor is littered with various knights and princesses and all their accoutrements, but obviously I made it through the mess.

I've been working on a new story.  I thought I had it all the basics worked out and then it insisted that it needed to be in a different setting.  I'm not sure what it is with me and setting, but my stories rarely end up where I first set them.  The last novel I wanted to set on the Oregon coast, but that turned out to be the wrong place to start it.  So I ended up with Israel/Jordan (there were some geographical features in the region that fit with was the story needed), but at WIFYR this past summer, everyone told me that the setting had to be changed.  There were no ifs, ands, or buts about it.  I had to change it.  They insisted.  So I changed it to Turkey.  While writing that, I thought about a fairy tale that I keep attempting to write a retelling of, but it has never worked out right.  I decided that it would be fun to set it in a country similar to the Ottoman Empire.  I planned it all out, started writing, but it wasn't working.  I thought it was the POV, since I couldn't decide between first and third.  So I kept opening the document, sighing, and wasting time doing other things (looking at Christmas sales online and not buying anything).  And then, during all the time I was NOT thinking about the story, I somehow decided that it needed a different setting.  I've been working on it and I'm pretty excited about it!  But, because I know me, I'll probably end up changing it again, so I won't say what it is at the moment.

How is writing going for you?  And does anyone have any suggestion for dealing with the influx of new toys?

Apathy or Something Like It

Lately I've been very apathetic about reading.  Actually, that isn't true.  I've been apathetic about the books that I've been reading---books that I looked forward to reading for months, but because I am out of space on the bookshelves and out of space for more bookshelves, I decided to wait for the library to purchase them.  I checked them out and eagerly opened them . . . only to be quickly bored.  Some of them I finished, some of them I didn't.  These were all books that I heard great things about.  It makes me wonder what's wrong with me that I didn't like them.  Not that I don't think it's good that everyone has different tastes in books, but it keeps happening.  Is it the season?  If I read these books during the summer, would I love them like everyone else?  It's not that I'm just generally apathetic (I almost punched my sister-in-law last night for being mean to some of my family members), but that way about books.  Even the new ones that I carefully selected for Christmas just haven't seemed appealing.  Oh, I still want to read, but I keep rereading older books since I keep being disappointed with new ones.  Has anyone else experienced this?  Or is it just me?

Hmm, that's not very happy for the season.  How about something more cheerful.  I got a recurve bow for Christmas!!  Now I can shoot holes through the neighbor's fence!  My husband picked it out for me as a surprise.  What did you get?  Anything exciting?

Some Writing Advice

I love Diana Wynne Jones.  I think she's a fabulous writer.  We drove to Disneyland a couple months ago and listened to Howl's Moving Castle on the way.  It was wonderful.  Thinking back on it, there are scenes so vividly in my mind that I felt like I was there.  I could feel the rain drizzling in Wales, I know what the weed killer smells like, and I know what it feels like to visit the king.  And yet she never spends pages and pages on descriptions.  Descriptions are something I struggle with (as anyone who has read my stuff will tell you)---I'm much more of a dialogue person.  But setting is so important, especially in the novel I've been working on, so I really need to get a handle on this description thing. 

I came across this article by Diana Wynne Jones.  I love how she says to just SEE it in your mind and then write what happens.  The descriptions will come out as you go.  Anyway, I thought she had some other good advice as well.  Good thing I have some relatives who would make great vampires! 

Winter Solstice

I've always thought the term Winter Solstice was such a cool name for a day.  Just the way it trips off the tongue.  Winter Solstice.  Go on, say it.  Winter Solstice.  Good.  Now are we all ready to go play in the snow and have hot cocoa after?  I know I am.  Too bad all the snow that's left in my yard is the hard, crunchy kind.  I guess I'll have to settle for the hot chocolate instead.  

Anyway, Winter Solstice brings up images of fog and icicles and the warm fluffy snow---not bright sunny days like we're having now.  Okay, I admit that fluffy snow isn't really warm, but it usually falls at warmer temperatures.  I know that because I lived in Montana as a kid and when it got really cold, it snowed ice.  We lived out in the outskirts of town (by that I mean about 20 minutes from a gas station---Montana towns are nothing if not sprawling) and lived probably half a mile from the bus stop.  We got down from the bus one winter day and stepped out in falling ice.  It felt like the sky was spitting needles at us and I couldn't keep my eyes open against the driving snow.  My sister, who wore glasses, took my hand and led me home through the snowstorm.  Isn't that sweet?  I guess it makes up for the time that I tried to race her to the bus stop and managed to fall, face first, on that same gravel road.  Ouch!  But that is another story.  And now you've had your snow lesson for the day.  So if you want to indicate in your story that it was really cold, don't have big, fluffy flakes falling. 

Since it's Winter Solstice and I'm apparently in a reminisce about my wild Montana youth, I'll spotlight some other books that I've been enjoying lately.  Parts of them take place in Montana in the winter, so there is some sort of a connection.  I'm not completely random.

Patricia Briggs has two companion series that I've been loving lately:  Mercy Thompson series (the first book is Moon Called) and Alpha and Omega (it begins with a short story in the book On the Prowl and then the first novel is Cry Wolf).  I'd read some of Patricia Briggs before, but these are definitely my favorite.  I was hesitant to read them because of the covers, but one of the girls in my workshop group this summer said she loved them, so I gave them a try and thoroughly enjoyed them.  I loaned the Mercy Thompson books to my sister (she of the glasses in the snowstorm) over Thanksgiving and she went through them in a couple days. 

Now, I'm not saying that they're brilliant works of literary fiction, but they're a fun urban fantasy series.  I should add that they are not young adult, like a lot of the stuff I read, and do deal with more adult issues.  That being said, they're pretty clean books, just not for younger readers. 

And I still like the word solstice.  I think I'm going to be saying it all day now.

So, any fun plans for the holidays?

Playing Favorites

Today is my favorite person's birthday.  Since he won't like me gushing on and on about him, I'll talk about my favorite book.  (He looks a lot like of the main character:  tall, strong, piercing blue eyes, pale skin, and dark hair.)

Archangel by Sharon Shinn.  A friend loaned this to me in high school and I stayed up half the night for a couple nights in a row to read it.

Things I love about it:

The story line.  It's gripping and written in a such a way that it's completely plausible.

The characters.  They're so real.  I love them all, the good, the bad, and the ugly.  (I'm actually not sure if any of them are ugly.)  Each of them has their own motivation and, even if it's not something that motivates me, I understand it.

I also love the world.  And the music.  I'm not a musician, but still, the descriptions of the music really get to me.  Very powerful.  And I love that it's so important and how much of a part of their lives it is.

I'll admit it, I love romance in stories and this is one of the best romances.  (With a very hot leading man... )

I'd gush more, but then I'd probably ruin the plot.  So go read it and then we can gush about it together.

Why I'm Not An Outliner

I planned out the day yesterday. Things should have been tight, but they should have worked. Okay, they really shouldn't have. I planned far too many things and my mood yesterday was somewhat along these lines:

Yeah, that's pretty much how I felt.

It started with a frantic finishing of Dracula.  Unfortunately, it wasn't because I was so involved in the story and I couldn't put it down.  No, it was due back at the school library.  They wanted a parent to review it.  It started out well.  I loved the beginning---there were actually lines that gave me goosebumps.  Like comparing Dracula's smile to one that would have made Judas in hell proud.  Yeah, that's brilliant.

But...

Somewhere in the middle I lost my love for it and the book became dreary.  Part of it was the difficulty of having multiple narrators.  In the beginning, we stuck with each one for a while, but then it became several per chapter, which made it a bit confusing.

Worst of all, though, was the constant praise of the characters.  I guess I have something against being told over and over how wise/noble/brave/sweet/etc. the characters are.  It was to the point that I was practically rooting for the vampire because he was far more interesting than perfect, noble, blah, blah, blah characters.

But I did finish the book, just in time for a play-date, followed by volunteering for in my son's reading class.  Then, for some reason, I thought I could cut out and bake sugar cookies in under an hour.  With a four year old.  Hah!  And somewhere in all this, I decided to make fudge.  Actually, I didn't decide to.  It was one of the things I planned to do on my Tuesday.  So I did it.  This is what the fudge turned out like:

Yes, it does look suspiciously like chocolate soup.  Not that I have anything against chocolate soup, but when I make fudge, I don't want soup, no matter how chocolate it might be.

(For those curious, I probably didn't boil it long enough.  I also had to make some substitutions for the food allergies in our family, which probably didn't help.)

Anyway, the soup does remind me of my attempts to outline.  When I do try to plan and outline and then write the story, I usually end up with at least one scene that doesn't fit.  I still try to squish it in and make it work, but it never does.  Everything just ends up soupy, and not to mention forced.

So instead of outlining, I end up throwing out a lot of pages.  As in hundreds of pages.  But I guess throwing things out is a personality trait or something since I'm about to go throw out the fudge soup.

Snow and Snide Remarks

It's snowing. Still. I've shoveled the walks four times in the last 24 hours. Will it ever end?

Eric Snider, a local film reviewer, recently posted his rejected script for New Moon. He also had a rejected script for Twilight that was pretty fun to. Definitely something to improve my snow-soaked day.

Happy Shoveling to all!

First Pages

Last week, I talked with some of our young women about writing. Most of them like to write, but aren't in a position to attend workshops. So I tried to share some of the things I've learned.

One of the things we talked about was hooks and the importance of a good first page. I read excerpts from:

















1. The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan









2. A Curse as Dark as Gold by Elizabeth C. Bunce (a book I bought solely for the title and cover--and then I kept it because I loved it)






3. Silksinger by Laini Taylor

At a recent conference, Martine Leavitt suggested trying to answer the 5 w's in the first page.

Who is the main character and at least one thing about them?
What does the MC want?
Where are they?
When are they?
Why is this day different?

It was probably one of the best exercises I've ever done. Everyone in the workshop tried it and, with the exception of one person, everyone's first page was so much better. Anyway, after reading the first pages and then seeing if they answered the 5 w's, we read the first page of my work in progress. Let me just say, reading it out loud after reading some of my favorite first pages, was depressing. As in cringing I-want-to-climb-under-the-table depression. Needless to say, it gave me a much needed nudge to rewrite that page. I started with the first line. When I read it to the girls, it said:

"I decided a long time ago that my real mom was a stripper."

I changed it to:

"I used to think my real mother was a stripper."

What do you think? An improvement?