LDS Writer Blogfest: "What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Bo?"

I love when General Conference comes around every six months. I love feeling refreshed and inspired to try to be a better person. And I love the feeling that I can do it, that I can be a better person.

One of my favorite talks was "What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?" by Elder Lynn G. Robbins. In this talk, Elder Robbins spoke about the difference between to be and to do. 

"Be begets do and is the motive behind do.”

I am the sort of person who tends to get caught up in getting things done. I want to check things off, move on to the next project, and be done with it. While this is great for some things, it doesn’t work for other things and tends to make me frustrated. I forget to think about why I’m doing certain things.

Like having family dinner.

I believe eating together is important, but I have a tendency to want to hurry, hurry, hurry get-dinner-over-with-and-move-onto-the-next-thing. I forget that the doing (the actual eating) isn’t as important as being together and spending quality time together.

“Many of us create to do lists to remind us of things we want to accomplish. But people rarely have to be lists. Why? To do’s are activities that can be checked off the list when done. To be, however, is never done.”

I think the main reason this talk struck me so hard was that it made me slow down and think about why I’m doing so many of the things I’m doing. Most of the things I do are because I want to be a certain kind of person, but when I forget about the being and focus on the doing, it never ends up well. I end up getting annoyed with the kids for talking instead of eating and telling too many knock-knock jokes.

Another thing I loved about this talk was the focus on parenting (although it can apply to any relationship). He quoted Carol Dweck as saying, “Never let failure progress from an action to an identity.”

This is wonderful advice for parenting, and wonderful advice for life in general. Just because someone, ourselves included, fail at something, does not make them failures. Nor does it mean that they always fail at doing that thing. 

“Disappointing behavior, therefore, should be considered as something temporary, not permanent—an act, not an identity.”

Like Elder Robbins, I believe that we are all God’s children. That is our true identity. I believe that God will help us as we strive to become more like the Savior—to do the things He would do and become as He is—and that gives me hope.

Other writer’s participating in the LDS Writer’s Blogfest: 

Annette Lyon: “Desire”
Annie Cechini: “The Spirit of Revelation”
Ben Spendlove: “The Atonement Covers All Pain”
Chantele Sedgwick: “LDS Women Are Incredible!”
Charity Bradford: “LDS Women Are Incredible!”
Jackee Alston: “The Eternal Blessings of Marriage”
Jenilyn Tolley: “What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?”
Jennifer McFadden: “Establishing a Christ-Centered Home”
Jessie Oliveros: “Establishing a Christ-Centered Home”
Jolene Perry: “It’s Conference Once Again”
Jordan McCollum: “What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?”
Kasey Tross: “Guided by the Holy Spirit”
Kayeleen Hamblin: “Become as a Little Child”
Kelly Bryson: “The Atonement Covers All Pain”
Krista Van Dolzer: “Opportunities to Do Good”
Melanie Stanford: “What Manner of Men and Women Ought Ye to Be?”
Michelle Merrill: “The Eternal Blessings of Marriage”
Myrna Foster: “Opportunities to Do Good”
Nisa Swineford: “Desire”
Sallee Mathews: “The Eternal Blessings of Marriage”
Sierra Gardner: “The Atonement Covers All Pain”
Tamara Hart Heiner: “Waiting on the Road to Damascus”
The Writing Lair: “Waiting on the Road to Damascus”